sometimes lonely

Had a bout of loneliness last night… but I have to remember that right now is a time of healing for my kids and I. I honestly have nothing to offer if I’m still broken. So, we’re fixing that. I’m sure I’ll still have lonely days/nights.. but that’s because we’re meant for companionship.. It’s ok to get lonely.. Just don’t get lost in it!

I was also definitely lonely in my marriage.. but this is a different sort of loneliness if that makes sense? I feel like this is more final… With him, I still always had that hope that things would get better… Now, I am on my own. I fall into bed on my own. I pray on my own. I make all the decisions on my own.. It would be so nice at the end of a long day, to just have someone to fall into bed with and talk about things.. To sigh together and laugh and realize we made it one more day. To say our prayers, to hope our hopes and dream our dreams…

But with that said, I know it’s also not the time for me.. The time for me now is to focus on healing.. Healing for myself and my kids… I need to bring myself into focus and not get distracted by these things.. but sometimes… like last night… it just gets really hard.

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6 thoughts on “sometimes lonely

  1. I think you are one of the bravest people I’ve ever met. Know that the loneliness will go away eventually, not tomorrow, not the next day, but soon. Know that you are in my thoughts and heart daily.

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