and who do you hang out with?

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Friends

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I have been so blessed with true friends that are always willing to help me and lend an ear…

Sometimes I have a hard time believing I have good friends who really care..

It’s nothing on their part.. See part of his control was in telling me no one cared… No one liked me.. no one listened.. I wasn’t worth anything.. I wasn’t allowed to this or that..

It was hard building relationships when you weren’t allowed to hang out at their house. Sounds like I was a child… I felt like I was a child…

It was hard to build relationships when he constantly talked about the person behind her back. Talking about all her negatives… How she acted one day that might have been a warning that she didn’t really care.

I still have those little voices that bother me from time to time.. Trying to tell me that my friendships are just superficial. That the person doesn’t really care for me.. That she would always choose someone else over me…

I’m learning to realize that as I am healing, I am also becoming a better friend… and I am attracting those people to me more and more…

It’s a lot of self talk. Positive self talk. Telling myself I’m worthy. Looking at myself in the mirror and telling myself that I am a kind, smart, funny person and I am a good friend. Telling myself that I am loved… Trying to make up for all those years that the negatives were a constant.

Silence

After so many years of being silent… Keeping quiet… Keeping secrets… I find myself opening up to people that I probably shouldn’t be opening up to. Sometimes random strangers hear a bit of my story. I believe that for now that is ok. I won’t always open up to my chiropractor about the little details of what I’m going through, haha! Or at least that’s what they hope?

When someone says to me, “How are you doing?” I wind up opening up a little bit more than I should. Most people use “how are you” as a greeting, instead of genuinely wanting to hear about your life.

I watched a video once of a lady who had also been victim to domestic violence. She said the exact same thing. She would open up to someone she was sitting next to on the bus. She would talk to the cashier at the grocery. It’s just a part of what we’re going through…

For so long we’ve been controlled… kept silent… in fear of opening up… Now is the time to be brave. Now is the time to bring things to the light. Now is the time to Trust in the Lord and in the Power of His might! Seek out those that will help you and support you. You will find them. It’ll be easy to tell the difference.

Sometimes I think that through this phase of spilling our deepest thoughts out to everyone we meet, we will find those that truly support us and love us. This is the time that we will know who our true friends are.

Don’t keep quiet any longer!

And since your history of silence
Won’t do you any good
Did you think it would?
Let your words be anything but empty
Why don’t you tell them the truth?
Say what you wanna say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave
With what you want to say
And let the words fall out
Honestly I wanna see you be brave